Connecting Siblings When a Large Age Gap Exists

Wondering how to bond siblings with a big age gap? Discover fun activities, parenting tips, and creative ways to foster strong connections between children of different ages. Strengthen sibling relationships today

I am delighted to be sharing our Parenting With Purpose guest post with you on The Educators’ Spin On It. I have been reading Kim and Amanda’s blog since well before I started my own blog. The TotSchool posts have been my favourite posts. 

I am Amie from Triple T Mum, so called because I have twins Strawberry and Ooffa (23 months), a toddler (3 year old Chook) and a teen (14 year old Gamer). I am sharing with you today a post on connecting children when a large age gap exists.

Connectin Siblings with a Large Age Gap Exists

Life happens. And for whatever reasons sometimes families end up with age gaps between siblings that may be outside the norm.

This is our story.

There is 10½ years between Gamer and Chook. During those years we had always talked about having more children and giving Gamer siblings. He had always been positive about this prospect. I thought that this desire would mean a fairly smooth transition from only child to eldest child.

Being 10½ made it easy to prepare Gamer for his new sibling and the love for Chook was evident right from the start.

What wasn’t prepared for was toddlerhood and the teens hitting both boys at the same time. Add to the mix the birth of our twins and you’ve got a recipe for some interesting times!

Quick and Easy Morning Activities Together

It became a massive priority to engage in activities that would maintain a connection amongst us all. On top of doing family things together there were several activities that Gamer could do with Chook that encouraged a strong connection between them.

The following activities I have found to be the best non-competitive, relationship building activities. You’ll notice each activity allows the toddler three play choices. I like to label these as: “play with me”, “you do it” & “I do it”.

The Relationship Building Activities for our Family

•     Playdough
•     Bubble blowing at the water table
•     Duplo
•     Block building
•     Reading picture books
•     Indoor fort building with sheets
•     Sandpit

I hope you enjoyed meeting us! We hope you stop by to read more stories about our play activities as we grow and learn.

Amie lives in Western Australia in a beautiful coastal town next to Australia’s whitest beach! She has four children, whom she adores and loves every moment that they spend playing together. She is a Early Years Educator with a BEd in Primary Teaching. She loves being at home with her children and is exploring the Waldorf philosophy of living and educating. Triple T Mom started as a place that shares learning that is play based. A place other parents could come and read about her journey raising such a diverse range of ages and hopefully find humour and support. She often writes about raising twins, toddlers and teens, literally from the trench!  You can also find Amie on Pinterest and Facebook.   

Kim’s Spin On It

Thank you so much Amie for sharing your story and what works to connect your children. These are great activities to engage children of all ages together.  Amie’s is one of the hosts one of our favorite Link Ups, The Kids’ Co-op where we find many fun siblings activities too. Plus she shares parenting ideas in a Series called Parenting with Joy, we invite you to check out Keeping a Calm Presence and My Strong Willed Child  and tell her we sent you.  

For those of you that aren’t aware I also have a gap in age with my children too. Sometimes the life you plan and the life that really happens can vary. My children are 20, 6 and 2 and most definitely keep you on your toes.  I had one graduating high school, starting Kindergarten and learning to walk all at the same time.  Confession, it was a hard year for me emotionally but the benefits of that are priceless.  My husband and his sister are 8 years apart and are very close, sometimes as siblings age the number doesn’t really exist as much anymore. As my son is off at college it’s getting harder and harder to ensure their relationships stay strong.  

It’s important to find avenues of how to connect your children and also to teach them boundaries with each other.  For us the struggle was homework time, so we discovered that going for an afternoon walk at that time helped. Dinner time was our biggest bonding time together, just simply sitting down and sharing that time together is and will always be important.  

Now that he’s in college we are so thankful for Facetime and Zoom so that all of my kids can talk or show each other things. Sometimes it’s just a 15 minute session of my 6 year old sharing the lego structure she built or a new beaded necklace she made. Or a 2 minute moment of my 2 year old sharing a song she’s learning to sing but it connects them.  

I think for us another key element was not to assume our teenager was a built in babysitter. We didn’t want him to resent his younger siblings. When the nursery was being put together he also had a more adult bedroom designed. We also spent some evening out with just him separately while the other adult stayed home with the younger ones. I think the balance is to make sure that children of any age feel that they are getting your undivided attention as a parent and that they also share their undivided attention with their siblings. Hands-on Fun Activities are a great way to start!  

 Additional resources for Encouraging Sibling Bonding 

• Create a Sibling Book
• Tips on Creating Individual Time with Each Child
• Making Time for Sibling Activities 
• Drop Everything and Swing-Sharing your Time with each Child
• Waiting for a Sibling to Come Home from the Hospital

What activities do you recommend for sibling bonding with a large age gap?