The Educators' Spin On It

Learning Games and Activities

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Connecting Children When a Large Age Gap Exists

I am delighted to be sharing our Parenting With Purpose guest post with you on The Educators’ Spin On It. I have been reading Kim and Amanda’s blog since well before I started my own blog. The TotSchool posts have been my favourite posts. 

I am Amie from Triple T Mum, so called because I have twins Strawberry and Ooffa (23 months), a toddler (3 year old Chook) and a teen (14 year old Gamer). I am sharing with you today a post on connecting children when a large age gap exists.



Life happens. And for whatever reasons sometimes families end up with age gaps between siblings that may be outside the norm.

This is our story.

There is 10½ years between Gamer and Chook. During those years we had always talked about having more children and giving Gamer siblings. He had always been positive about this prospect. I thought that this desire would mean a fairly smooth transition from only child to eldest child.

Being 10½ made it easy to prepare Gamer for his new sibling and the love for Chook was evident right from the start.

What wasn’t prepared for was toddlerhood and the teens hitting both boys at the same time.  
Add to the mix the birth of our twins and you’ve got a recipe for some interesting times!

Quick and Easy Morning Activities Together
It became a massive priority to engage in activities that would maintain a connection amongst us all. On top of doing family things together there were several activities that Gamer could do with Chook that encouraged a strong connection between them. The following activities I have found to be the best non-competitive, relationship building activities. You’ll notice each activity allows the toddler three play choices. I like to label these as: “play with me”, “you do it” & “I do it”.



 The Relationship Building Activities for our Family

  •     Playdough
  •     Bubble blowing at the water table
  •     Duplo
  •     Block building
  •     Reading picture books
  •     Indoor fort building with sheets
  •     Sandpit
I hope you enjoyed meeting us! We hope you stop by to read more stories about our play activities as we grow and learn. 


Amie lives in Western Australia in a beautiful coastal town next to Australia’s whitest beach! She has four children, whom she adores and loves every moment that they spend playing together. She is a Early Years Educator with a BEd in Primary Teaching. She loves being at home with her children and is exploring the Waldorf philosophy of living and educating. Triple T Mom started as a place that shares learning that is play based. A place other parents could come and read about her journey raising such a diverse range of ages and hopefully find humour and support. She often writes about raising twins, toddlers and teens, literally from the trench!  You can also find Amie on Pinterest and Facebook. 



Kim’s “Spin On It”


Thank you so much Amie for sharing your story and what works to connect your children.  These are great activities to engage children of all ages together.  Amie’s is one of the hosts one of our favorite Link Ups, The Kids’ Co-op where we find many fun siblings activities too.  Plus she shares parenting ideas in a Series called Parenting with Joy, we invite you to check out Keeping a Calm Presence and My Strong Willed Child  and tell her we sent you.  

For those of you that aren’t aware I also have a gap in age with my children too.  Sometimes the life you plan and the life that really happens can vary.  My children are 20, 6 and 2 and most definitely keep you on your toes.  I had one graduating high school, starting Kindergarten and learning to walk all at the same time.  Confession, it was a hard year for me emotionally but the benefits of that are priceless.  My husband and his sister are 8 years apart and are very close, sometimes as siblings age the number doesn’t really exist as much anymore. As my son is off at college it’s getting harder and harder to ensure their relationships stay strong.  

It’s important to find avenues of how to connect your children and also to teach them boundaries with each other.  For us the struggle was homework time, so we discovered that going for an afternoon walk at that time helped.  Dinner time was our biggest bonding time together, just simply sitting down and sharing that time together is and will always be important.  

Now that he’s in college we are so thankful for Facetime and Google Air so that all of my kids can talk or show each other things.  Sometimes it’s just a 15 minute session of my 6 year old sharing the lego structure she built or a new beaded necklace she made.  Or a 2 minute moment of my 2 year old sharing a song she’s learning to sing but it connects them.  

I think for us another key element was not to assume our teenager was a built in babysitter.  We didn’t want him to resent his younger siblings.  When the nursery was being put together he also had a more adult bedroom designed.  We also spent some evening out with just him separately while the other adult stayed home with the younger ones. I think the balance is to make sure that children of any age feel that they are getting your undivided attention as a parent and that they also share their undivided attention with their siblings.  Hands on Fun Activities are a great way to start!  



Additional resources for Encouraging Sibling Bonding 




What activities do you recommend for sibling bonding with a large age gap? 


Like this idea? Pin for later or share now with a friend!

Comments

  1. I really enjoyed your post. I have a 22 year old, a 17 year old and a 2-1/2 year old. The year my little one turned 1 was also the year my oldest turned 21 and the year my daughter turned 16. it was also the year I turned 40. 🙂 It was the year of milestones 🙂

  2. Hello! I found your post via Ness @ One Perfect Day. Thank you for featuring this! I have an 8 year old and a newborn and I was scratching my head as how to make them bond!

  3. Kim and Amie these are really wonderful ideas for fostering sibling bonding. It's so easy for siblings with large age gaps to lead separate lives (there is a large age gap between my sister and I) but with a little thought and effort a really strong relationship can be built. I've featured this post on my blog this week – thanks for linking up to The Sunday Parenting Party.

  4. Kim, your 'Spin On It' touched my heart! You are writing from a perspective just ahead of mine. It was like looking into a crystal ball 🙂 My eldest actually had the realisation the other day that when he starts university Chook will be in formal school and the twins will be just starting! I think I have been blissfully ignorant of this fact! I am looking forward to reading your sibling bonding links 🙂 Thanks again for having us!

  5. We also have a gap between kids (6 years) but have found many ways to connect them. I think one of the best is just the funny things they come up with together to tease their parents 🙂 and card games have also been a big hit in our house. Travel has also been a successful way to connect them as we are all experiencing someplace new (and learning) no matter what our age.

    Kim, mine will be starting college and middle school the same year – and yep, I'm thinking it's going to be an emotional few months. So glad they have things like Facetime too!

    Wonderful post ladies!

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