Teaching Kids How to Make Friends

As we head back-to-school this year, the topic of how to make friends once again becomes the focus of our character development conversations around the dinner table.  Friends are an important part of our lives. They bring value to our lives in numerous ways. As my children get prepared to start a new academic school year, we focus on remembering how to make new friends.

How to Make Friends

Although my children are extraverts, they have struggled at different times throughout their early childhood years with making and keeping friends (hey, I’m an adult and I am still practicing this skill of making new friends)  These are our tried and true methods for making friends:

Tips for teaching kids on how to make friends.

1. Smile. 
Yes, this sounds so very simple, but our number one tip for making new friends is to “look friendly” to others – one way to do this is to smile. If you are in a classroom with 20 new children, a smile can be a ray of sunshine in your day.  If you are a little nervous about making new friends, a smile may give you a boost of confidence as it is a reminder that you are a kind and happy person that others want to spend time with.

2. Listen to what the other person has to say.  
This is a big deal in our house. We find that the kids are so excited to talk that they forget to listen.  We are practicing being a good listener:

• maintaining eye contact
• repeating back what we hear
• not interrupting
• asking questions about what the other person has to say

3. Be Yourself.  
My kids are funny, quirky and creative.  It is my hope that they find friends who value who they are on the inside.  It is important when making friends to be yourself. Not every child will connect with each other in the same way.  If you don’t like horses and someone asks if you do, do not pretend to like them. Be honest.  Your friendships will have a stronger beginning. *I find that the kids start to notice this more around 2nd grade, but some do earlier.

4. Ask others to play with you. 
My daughter had a really hard time making friends last year.  It was a new school and friendships had already formed.  She really felt sad about not having anyone to play with on the playground.  We practiced inviting each other to come play with us and she eventually starting asking children to come play with her on the parallel bar.

5. Say Hello and Good Morning.  
These words are simple and a great way to start connecting with others.   Practice saying them at home prior to school. Make it part of your daily routine and soon your child will be saying them too.

ACTIVITY: Write about Making Friends

Kids as young as toddlers  can help write and draw about making friends. In fact, this activity is one of my favorite first week of school activities to do with kids from preschool to first grade.  You could illustrate several pages each day and combine them together at the end of the week for a delightful home-made book that children can re-read with family members.

For younger children: limit the pages to 4.  Encourage them to trace 2 circles on each page to represent the friends.

For older children: allow them to complete the book independently.  Encourage them to write and label their drawings.

Learning Objective: Create a DIY book to represent being a good friend with drawings and words.

Focus Skills
– fine motor
– creativity
– writing
– early literacy
– book making

Materials Needed

• Scissors
• Stapler
• Crayons
• Copy of the Friends Can book.  This activity is a free ECE printable available on Teachers Pay Teachers.

Directions to make the DIY Friends Can Book.

1.  Print a set of Friends can booklet.
2. Stack the booklet in the order you want the pages to appear.
3. Staple the left side.
4.  Read the pages with your child. Let the child illustrate each page.

Click to print a copy of the DIY Friends Can Book

After I print the Friendship books out, I set them out in the writing center for the children to work on in small groups. Here is what our center looked like:

Each child completed their own friendship book.

If you are short on time, you could have each child work on one page, then assemble it to make a class friendship book as well.

I like that this activity allows for children to participate even though they are on different academic levels.

Toddlers are learning the vocabulary of friendship and how to use a variety of writing utensils. Their pictures may be mostly scribbles with some lines and circles forming.

2 1/2 year old page (with mom’s help)

Preschooler – Kindergarteners are forming bodies and faces. They are able to grasp more abstract concepts of friendship.  I would encourage children of this age to use a minimum of one color per age. If you are 4 years old, then 4 colors should be used. (this paper is still a work in progress). If they have forgotten important details of people, hand them a mirror and encourage them to double check their illustrations body parts!

5 year old’s friendship book page

9 year old’s friendship book page

Picture Books about Friendship

A Dance of Friendship (Angelina Ballerina) I love Angelina in that she is always such a kind mouseling. This book introduces how to deal with friendship and feelings of jealousy. Read more here

Franklin’s New FriendWhen the moose family moves in, Franklin is initially a bit afraid of moose because of his size.  When the two get to know each other, they realize that despite their differences, they become new friends.  Read more here